You’ve thought about therapy, but the fear of judgement keeps holding you back. Does this sound familiar? 

Stigma has led to many misconceptions about therapy and is one of the biggest barriers to seeking help. When considering counselling for the first time, many people are impacted by stigma and are afraid of being judged. 

In this blog post, I’ll address these concerns, help you change your perspective of therapy and give you some tips on how to get started.

Note: I use therapy and counselling interchangeably in my blog posts

 

The truth about therapy and stigma

Let’s look at some common concerns and stigma based misconceptions about therapy. 

You might be thinking...

 

“My problems aren’t bad enough for therapy” 

This belief is based on the misconception that therapy is only for people with serious mental illnesses or for people who have hit rock bottom. As a result of this misconception, you might believe that you don’t deserve help, or that you are taking support away from someone who needs it more. In reality, therapy can benefit anyone who is facing stress, life changes, relationship issues, or personal growth challenges. It's not just for crisis situations. It’s a valuable tool for stress management, personal development, and improving overall wellbeing before problems become overwhelming. 

 

“I should be able to handle problems on my own” 

While resilience is important, it isn’t everything. People often crash or become burnt out when they believe they should be able to handle everything on their own, and carry on even when struggling. This misconception can make it difficult to accept support that is offered to you. It can make you feel guilty or ashamed about seeking help. Counselling can help you to step back and see how much you’ve been taking on, and perhaps how much you’ve been struggling. It's not always clear that there’s a problem when you’re so used to taking on everything by yourself. 

 

“What if people find out I’m going to therapy? Will they think I’m weak?”

This misconception is based on the stigma that seeking help is a sign of failure. This stigma can cause guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. In reality, recognising when you need help and seeking support shows strength and self-awareness. It takes courage to feel your feelings, process what’s going on for you, and learn more about yourself. 

It’s also entirely your choice as to whether you tell anyone that you’re in therapy. As a counsellor, I adhere to confidentiality, so your name and information will not be shared with anyone else. We can discuss how we might handle the possibility of bumping into each other out in public. If this is a concern, we can agree to not acknowledge each other if we see each other in public spaces. 

 

“I don’t want to be labelled as ‘crazy’ or ‘broken’”

This one relates to the misconception that therapy is only for people with serious mental health issues. Mental health problems are actually very common and nothing to be ashamed about. According to Mind, “1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England, and 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England.”

In addition, many people attend counselling for personal development reasons, self-care or to learn more about themselves. It can also help prevent further problems down the road. You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from counselling. 

 

“I’m afraid of being judged or misunderstood” 

One of the key benefits of counselling is a space to talk without being judged. If counsellors judged their clients for something they’ve said or done, it would make difficult conversations even harder. If you ever felt judged by a counsellor, it's likely you wouldn’t stick around for very long. That’s why part of a counsellor’s job is to be accepting, non-judgemental and try to understand you as best as we can. 

If you’re worried that your thoughts, feelings or behaviours might be seen as “too much” or “wrong” or “bad”, just know that therapists have heard all kinds of stories and are unlikely to be shocked. We’re here to support you, not judge you. 

I understand that it can be scary to get started and we can spend time building trust first before we talk about the serious stuff. I can’t promise that you won’t be misunderstood along the way, but know that it’s a safe space to tell me if I’ve misunderstood you. If I get it wrong, you can correct me. I also won’t tell you what to do. Instead, we will explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours to help you find your own solutions. 

 

Mental health stigma and therapy stigma can cause people to delay therapy or avoid seeking help altogether. This can escalate mental health problems, making them more difficult to deal with over time. By keeping your problems to yourself, you also deny yourself the support that you could be receiving from family and friends who want to support you.  

 

Overcoming the fear of judgement

Shift your perspective of therapy

• Think of therapy as an investment in yourself and a valuable tool for self-care rather than a weakness.
• Remember that recognising when to seek help shows strength and self-awareness. 
• Consider celebrities, athletes and other influential people who have openly spoken about their mental health (eg. Serena Williams, Tom Daley, Adele, Kit Harington). 
• Bring up the topic of mental health or therapy with someone you trust. You may be surprised to find that the people around you have dealt with mental health issues and been to therapy too. 
• The more you surround yourself with people who talk openly about mental health and therapy, the more you will see it as normal and healthy to seek support.

If you’re still nervous, remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your wellbeing.

 

Starting therapy with confidence

It's normal to feel nervous about starting counselling. I was deeply impacted by stigma and struggled to get my words out when I first started seeing a counsellor. As a result of this, it's important to me that I create a safe space free from judgement, and help my clients find their voice. 

If you’re someone who likes to be prepared for new situations, you can prepare for your first session or conversation with a therapist. Think of the concerns you want to address or goals that you may have for therapy.

Know that you can talk to your counsellor about your fear of judgement at any point in your work together.

Ultimately, you are in control and you can express if something isn’t working for you. The therapist can then adjust their approach. And if the first therapist doesn’t seem like the right fit, you can try another one.

Start with small steps. For example, you could research a few therapists, talk to a trusted friend about therapy, or you could book a free 20 minute call with me.

Every conversation you have about your mental health goes one step further towards reducing stigma and taking control of your wellbeing.