For some of us, change can be difficult, and if you’re like me, winter can be a dreaded time of year. The winters in the UK are long and cold and can be depressing for many of us. Whether you call it seasonal affective disorder (SAD), seasonal depression, or something else, we can’t stop it from happening.

Some people love autumn and talk about how they can’t wait for it and how cosy it is and all the things they look forward to when it gets to this time of the year. For me, I dread the long nights, lack of sun, and low energy. I find that the cold can feel physically painful, I don't enjoy going out and there’s so many illnesses going around. I feel stuck indoors, limited in what I can do, and I just don’t feel my best. 

While I enjoy some aspects of autumn / winter, such as comfy clothes and cosy nights in (I love my cosy hobbies), I can’t help feeling frustrated and down about the gloomy weather, short days, and long nights. As someone who didn’t grow up in this country, it can feel like the winter goes on forever here in the UK, and I start to forget what summer even looks like. 

All that said, we have to accept that winter comes around every year and there’s nothing we can do to stop that from happening (except maybe escaping to a warmer country). But let’s think about some realistic things we can do to help us get through it. 

 

What can help?

• Focus on what you can control - making your space cosy and comfortable, stay in contact with people, engage in your hobbies, make some nice plans to look forward to
• Listen to what your body needs - maybe you need more sleep and rest in the winter, maybe you forget to drink as much water, maybe you feel restless being at home for long periods of time and need some form of movement or exercise 
• Be gentle with yourself - know that lots of people feel down in the winter and it’s natural for things to slow down this time of year. If you’re not as productive as usual, that’s normal too. You don’t have to fight your body’s natural rhythms. 
• Get some sun or light therapy - this can help with sleep, and maybe help you feel that little bit happier
• You’ve gone through it before - although it's a transition, you can draw on things that have helped you get through it in previous years, and prepare for the worst parts of it so it doesn’t take you completely by surprise 

Battling guilt and shame

As I was writing this blog, I started wondering if I’m being dramatic about my hatred of winter and I had a look at what the NHS had to say about seasonal affective disorder. It actually mentions feelings of “despair, guilt and worthlessness” as symptoms of SAD. In my mind, I instantly connect these feelings to low energy, tiredness, and being less productive in the winter compared to other times of the year.

I found it helps me feel validated and less guilty to understand that there are biological reasons, such as differences in hormones and circadian rhythms that help explain why many of us feel this way. There are legitimate reasons why we feel extra tired and lack energy and motivation this time of year. 

Even though I constantly talk about self-care and that we need and deserve rest, I still fall into the trap of thinking that I need to be productive all the time and feeling guilty when I don't live up to this expectation. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. 

Rather than try to fight our biology and natural rhythms, maybe it makes sense to slow down and listen to what our bodies need. 

 

Ask for help if you need it

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of the stigma around mental health, therapy and antidepressants. If you need help, ask for it. If you know or even suspect that therapy or antidepressants would help you, who has the right to tell you not to do it? 

If someone else thinks that you “should” be able to handle it without any help, you don’t have to take on the shame that they feel. You’re allowed to deal with your mental health in different ways without feeling any shame about it. 

 

It won’t go on forever

Just like winter doesn’t last forever, neither will the way that you feel. There’s a time for everything. You might look at winter as a time for rest, grounding and gathering strength to prepare for the future. Slowing down might be just what you need. 

 

If you enjoyed reading this, you might like my blog post about therapy stigma.