With the first term of university coming up, thousands of students will be starting university for the first time and many more will be returning after the summer break.
September brings a fresh start for many young adults, especially those starting university. It's exciting but can also be overwhelming. It's often painted as “the best years of your life”, and while it can be, for many it's also a time filled with uncertainty, change and pressure.
You might be thinking…
“Is this what I want to do for the foreseeable future?”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Am I cut out for this?”
“What if I don’t make friends?”
“What if I can’t cope?
Common challenges
- Friendships and relationships - outgrowing old friendships, distance from school friends, the challenge of making new ones, feeling lonely, left out or left behind
- Independence and identity - living away from family, managing money, learning how to cook and care for yourself, discovering who you are outside of your hometown
- Responsibilities and pressures - academic expectations, balancing studies, social life and finances, the pressure to fit in, comparing yourself to others
- Wellbeing and mental health - feelings of loneliness, anxiety, low self-esteem, or struggling to adjust to change
I just want to reiterate how normal it is for university to be a challenging time. While some students will thrive in their course and newfound freedom, some will realise that university wasn’t for them. Some will take a while to make friends. Some will find that their course wasn’t what they thought it was, and may find a new topic of interest.
Everyone will experience their own personal challenges with university. And that pressure you feel to reach every milestone and be successful? The people around you probably feel it too, even if they do a good job of hiding it.
It's okay if you don’t have everything under control and figured out at this stage. And it's okay if your university experience looks completely different to your friends or peers.
This era of your life is when you can truly grow and learn who you are, but you have the freedom to do so at your own pace. If you’re struggling with all the pressures that university brings, it doesn’t mean that you’re failing. (And if you find that university isn’t right for you, there are many other paths and opportunities to explore).
Tips for students
- When it comes to making friends, you don’t have to click with everyone. Finding out who is wrong for you is equally valuable as figuring out who is right for you.
- Keep in touch with the people who still matter to you, but be open to new friends and connections.
- Look after your basic needs like sleep, eating, exercising, and having downtime. These seemingly small things have a big impact on your mental health, and no one else can do them for you.
- Make use of student support services as there are many people who want to support you and want you to have a good experience.
- Give yourself permission not to have the “perfect” university experience. If your uni days aren’t the “best years of your life” there are plenty more chances to create your best years after university.
- Enjoy it as much as you can, and see it as a learning curve to help you figure out what's for you, and what’s not.
Want some support?
If you’re finding the transition harder than expected, maybe I can help.
I work with young adults who are coping with life changes, figuring out their identity, and trying to improve their self-esteem. Counselling can be a supportive space to help you work through these challenges.
If you’d like to explore how therapy could support you, I offer remote counselling sessions (via video calls or telephone) and you can get in contact here.